FIVE REASONS TO CELEBRATE SOLITUDE
When I was growing up, I used to suffer from a mild case of FOMO (fear of missing out). If I found myself alone on a Friday night, my mind would become agitated and feelings of rejection would surface – was everyone else having a hedonistic party without me? Nowadays, thankfully, I’ve learned to revel in solitude. While I still love socializing, sometimes after a busy day, I like nothing better than reading a book or taking a solo walk on the beach (leaving my phone at home!)
In our culture of mass distraction, we are indirectly conditioned to think that if we spend time on our own, we must be sad or lonely. There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. We can be surrounded by people yet feel disconnected. In the same vein, others are perfectly happy spending time by themselves yet feel a deep sense of connection to the universe.
Even so, many struggle to appreciate their own company and this is understandable since this is when our minds tend to wander, either to painful past events or future worries. So, instead we keep up a hectic schedule, staying as distracted as possible, in order to avoid facing a potential void. One woman I know, rarely spends any time in her apartment; she’s a self-confessed social butterfly, flitting from one dinner party to the next, openly admitting that she dreads time alone. Another friend lines up her next boyfriend before she’s even ended her current relationship, then insists on spending 24/7 with her new beau, clinging to him like a limpet. “I wish I could learn how to enjoy my own space,” she told me. Experts say that learning to relish solitude is crucial to your happiness and wellbeing and here’s why:
1.The brain can reboot
Our brain is a little like a computer storing lots of files of past memories and experiences. When your laptop gets overheated, you turn it off and recharge it, so it cools down and re-energises. Our mind needs a chance to rejuvenate and experts say that doing activities like meditation, creates new brain cells.
2. Self-discovery is enhanced
Solitude gives you the chance to explore and understand your true nature. If you’re never alone, you can’t really know yourself. Self-awareness cannot happen if you’re continually distracted. Introspection begins when you remove the noise from your surroundings and spend time reflecting and understanding your deeper identity and purpose on this planet.
3. Cleaning out your closet
Alone time gives you a chance to think through your issues/problems and embrace your thoughts and accept rather than judge them. It teaches us self-acceptance, patience and self- compassion. With practice, alone time becomes much easier and more enjoyable.
4. Breeds high self-esteem
People who are comfortable with solitude often have a secure sense of self and have learned to appreciate themselves and all their shortcomings. When you’re always in the company of others, you tend to rely on their opinions to validate you. It might be a cliché, but it still rings true, it’s hard to attract love into your life if you don’t love yourself first. Why foist your company on someone else if you don’t even relish it yourself? Also without solitude, true love will not stay too long by your side.
5. Expands your soul
Being alone gives you a chance to nourish your soul. A vast world exists within our soul, ready to be discovered and celebrated it, if only we are only to recognize and ignite it. Solitude allows our soul to speak to us so we start seeing the beauty within ourselves and all around us.
