Star Wars, Porn and Tantric Sex
by Cyntha Gonzalez
What do Star Wars, Tantric sex and porn all have in common? As I speak with clients who have been abused, read posts and view YouTube videos from mostly men and some women who are leaving porn behind, the archetypes of Jedi, Darth Vader, lightsabers, the Force and the Holy Grail all come to mind.
Let’s start with the Male Lover:
I believe all males are potential Jedi or Force-sensitives, born with a powerful lightsaber needing instruction in its masterful use. The majority of Jedi born in the last twenty years are facing an obstacle never seen before. As they hit puberty, the chances are that their lightsaber teachers will not be Jedi deeply committed to wielding their instrument in the name of Love, but Rogue Jedi or Fallen Jedi promising them instantaneous, limitless and eternal pleasure with this powerful tool via pornography. Their lightsabers will become dimmer and less potent due to pleasure hormone overdose. Men, who came of age before the Internet profusion, are also struggling with the temptation to replace intimacy with disconnected, immediate pleasure that porn brazenly offers.
At the same time, a loss of vitality in the bedroom and Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is the number one reason men are dropping porn. (Watch this)
A saturation of the brain’s pleasure zone with an overdose of sensation-seeking neurochemicals weakens the signal to the genitals. Increasing desensitization has been the inevitable fallout like in any addiction; i.e.- “I need more and more often to get the same high.” We can say that pleasure ironically is leading growing numbers to drop porn so as to re-regulate their neurological pleasure functions and be able to partake in real sexual ecstasy once again.
Contrary to the Dark Jedi who lets his emotions run destructively unchecked because the pain of intimacy is so threatening, our Jedi man masters emotion and gains power via meditation, exercise and focused breathing. He commits to healing his inner child and accepts embracing his dark side with its repressed, hidden pain, which can include childhood sexual abuse, underreported and unhealed far too often. He is interested in and committed to learning about his sexual energy and how to best direct it for the mutual emotional and spiritual benefit of his lover and himself.
Through whatever serendipitous means or guides, this Jedi learns how to align himself with the Force. He learns to use his lightsaber as an instrument to give love, to open his partner to love and is consequently really loved. Sometimes he resigns himself to such training because he’s fed up with not being able to get it up. Other times it’s his partner that can no longer tolerate his distracted lack of presence. And increasingly, this man is remembering who he is – a Jedi, born with the most beautiful, innate power to engage with life, shine his creative talents and love and be loved madly – anything less becomes a vibration he longer wishes to give his energy to.
He eventually rises to the status of Jedi Master and learns how to suppress his ejaculation and reroute his orgasm, sending it upward and outward through his own invisible inner flute. Regularly he sends it into the heart of his beloved and breaks her open or floods her willing receptacle with his lightsaber’s healing, transformative light.
Female Lover:
Females are born with a holy grail or a chalice, which is her womb. It can be equally a challenge for a pubescent princess to trust the faint whispers or protesting roars of her sacred vessel. A 2008 study revealed that 62% of adolescent girls were exposed to online porn. Most of them involuntarily.
Given the unrealistic representation of female bodies and distorted female sexuality in the grand majority of porn videos, how would a princess’s sacred chalice be reassured or inspired with such imagery? Furthermore, according to the US Department of Justice, as many as 1 out of 3 girls under age 18 will be a victim of sexual abuse in the States. This means a lot of chalices are in need of serious repairing.
As our princess heals from epidemic sexual assault, she reclaims the power temporarily taken from her. Her lightsaber is her voice and she breaks a silence stifled in shame, self-blame and tragic self-harm. She rekindles the fire of her creativity and expresses it, whether discreetly or loudly, but she no longer holds back the wealth of her unique talent. Whether abused or not, this princess courageously recovers from her gender’s affliction of codependency – giving away her ‘me’ to be loved and approved by ‘you’.
As the healing transmutes old violations and shatters the Dark Side’s grip, she forgives. She feels the pain of Fallen Jedi and disenfranchised Princesses, knows she will no longer suppress her truth and simply loves. Her healed self attracts a Jedi Master in all his perfect human imperfection. She feels safe to soften again, or perhaps for the first time. She commits to full listening to her sacred vessel and eventually takes her place as Queen and from her womb “trusts in her wondrous ability to feel the physical sensation of truth, of resonance, of intuition, of her wise, wild and free self.” (Inspired source)
She is undaunted in her knowing that sexuality is one sacred act and that her inner kingdom feels everything. Everything. It shudders at the fear of losing the beloved she now permits to enter her. It senses the teasing lure of her lover inviting her to let go of leftover ego pride of a recent quarrel and let love resume its seductive swirl. It feels her devoted lover’s full presence or lack of. It dares to capitulate to the most blinding, annihilating, sweet surrender her partner deservedly commands – that leaves her speechless for days.
In Tantra the forces of good and evil play their dramas out in our bodies. They become highly personal and unavoidably spiritual. The absence of love is fearlessly seen for just that and love, with its epic reputation, smiles its humble, knowing, joyful smile. Love wins out once again, glows in its victory, and then after a rest, readies itself for the next test in the dramatic confrontation of Light and Darkness in our beautiful, ongoing heroic lives.
Cyntha Gonzalez is a Transpersonal Psychology Counsellor, a Tantric Healer and Holotropic Breathwork facilitator.
For more information go to www.cynthagonzalez.com
