10 Paths to Soulful Sex by Cyntha Gonzalez
1. The Path of Breath
Nice and Slow breathing
When we breathe 7 or less breaths a minute, we enter into a deeper state of consciousness. Such a state makes us more present, authentic and loving. In the beginning of lovemaking, a slow, mindful breath sets the scene and prepares us for soulful union.
Heavy and Fast Breathing
As desire builds, the breath quickens. We are asked to let go and trust the increased intensity. Control is gently placed in the background as the deeper breath takes us on an increasingly intimate, surrendered journey and we ride the wave.
2. The Path of Conscious Touch
Synchronized Breath and Touch
When the breath is synchronized with touch, the recipient feels the most loving, present contact. The giver feels the satisfaction of giving artfully with unconditional acceptance of the other.
Healing Touch
Stanislav Grof says we can have traumas of omission and traumas of commission. If we have suffered from neglect or inflicted abuse, mindful touch cleanses the suffering and confirms we are lovable and deserving.
Erotic Touch
Lingering. Teasing. Seizing. The art of timing and feeling into the other are of the essence in touch that excites and opens us up.
3. The Path of Radical Transparency
Being real and exposed can make us feel vulnerable. However, the body doesn’t lie. Radical honesty is an intense path taking us to the edge of our deepest fears of being judged, abandoned or betrayed. Once we brave its precipice, the sweetest rewards of closeness, trust and foundation are reaped and build on each other.
4. The Path of Open-Eyed Sex
To embark on this path, Radical Honesty is a prerequisite. To see our lover and hold their deepest vulnerability is a great honour. To dare to be fully seen demands something more enduring than the ego striving to protect itself. Open-eyed sex also asks us to be in the present moment allowing a solid sense of self to be forged. But the promise of that is not a guarantee, and so it is scary to jump!
5. The Path of Closed Eyes
When we close our eyes in love-making, our sensitivity to the subtle magnifies. Each stroke of touch, each thrust, each murmur of ecstasy is felt in heightened awareness. We enter into a communication of the unseen. We dance the timeless dance. We are beckoned to stay present and avoid the temptation to drift off cloaked in visible obscurity. If our thoughts should wander, our partner lovingly calls us back with a deeper squeeze. Afterwards a deepened intimacy flourishes.
6. The Path of 24-hour Foreplay
We long to surrender to the other. We long to be taken, to take. We long to let love in and let love flow. If trust, presence or reliability is compromised, it will inevitably reduce the ability to love and surrender to the other. By stoking the fire all day long and recognizing the need to do so, demands emotional intelligence and a willingness to stand in the fire. It asks for self-accountability and generosity of spirit. Nighttime is delicious as a result.
7. The Path of Non-Genital Sex
The ability to be sexual without penetration, genital stimulation or the pursuit of orgasm has its place in soulful sex, though orgasm may happen and surprise both. It enhances 24-hour foreplay. It develops the artistry of touch and breath. It is erotic and highly intimate.
8. The Path of Orgasm
Being sexual with another human being is one of the most intimate acts we can do. For it to be soulful, much has to be in place – in the head and heart first. Learning one’s own anatomy and responsiveness and then our partner’s is a beautiful shared journey of discovery. Sex is the seat of ascending Kundalini energy rising, and is the vehicle for one of the most exalted experiences in a human life. A deep understanding of the male and female orgasm paves the way to soulful sex.
9. The Path of Intimate Partnership
The ability to maintain an interdependent, equal, loving relationship that is intimate and erotic leads to soulful sex, according to Diana Richardson. An intimate partnership asks for an investment of time, love and humility! It’s necessary to set the boundaries and recognize the gift my partner is, in exposing my trigger points. As Tav Sparks encourages in his Yoga of the Cross, I ask where I have felt this before and I embrace the trigger as an opportunity for greater healing.
10. The Path of Spiritual Intimacy
What brings two people together in relationship is a mystery. “I have my spiritual practices of swimming, writing and meditation that take me to my center and encourage a wiser vista point from which to view my partner,” admits Cyntha. “Having a partner who has his version of practices – whether it be sport, walking the dog or a martial art – is important when it comes to love. As our lovemaking expands, I will see the Face of the Divine in him. And I will smile when he sees it in me.”
Whether you are single or in a partnership, I hope this post brings you great love and soulful lovemaking.
Until next time,
Cyntha
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