With gratitude to Faddic for the above painting entitled, Body to Soul. For purchase enquiries email sarah@oncloudzen.com
The Art of Microscopic Truth
By Cyntha Gonzalez
For years I have been inspired by the teachings and practice of transparency in my intimate relationships, friendships and professional connections. Recently I discovered Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks’ notion of Microscopic Truth. It gives transparency or radical honesty even more juice that leads a mature Tantric Goddess to shine confidently and brightly.
According to the Hendricks, “Microscopic truth is when you speak the truth about your internal experience as you are currently perceiving it.”
It is a clear, immediate statement of:
• The Feeling
• The Body Sensation
• What You Actually Did
For example:
• “I’m feeling vengeful right now”
• “My breathing is quickening all of a sudden”
• “I emailed my ex-boyfriend today”
• “When you just emailed me that you were going to play golf this weekend with the guys, I instantly felt angry. I feel heat rise up my body and I am gritting my teeth. I ask myself, ‘Does he prefer their company over mine?’ I am on my second glass of wine and I just emailed my old boyfriend.”
Sometimes the layers of feelings and body sensations go deep, far past the current trigger. Guidance and accompaniment may be needed to face, feel and navigate these scary depths.
Sharing as soon as possible is essential, as I stay current with my partner and circulate the energy, despite fears to do so. Resentment, blame and withheld sexual energy don’t have time to fester, accumulate and hijack vibrant, alive relating.
I find that Microscopic Truth takes basic emotional tools to a higher-level playing field, yielding edgier intimacy emotionally and sexually:
‘I – statements’ taken further
Over 30 years ago, the disarming use of ‘I’ statements arrived onto the relationship scene, instead of the accusatory ‘You’ ones. For example, “You are so untrustworthy!!” became “I feel irritated and let down when you don’t follow up on a promise.” “I” statements were revolutionary because they usurped the taboo of feeling and vulnerability. As a collective, we began to emotionally grow up. Microscopic truth takes “I” statements to even more inclusive accountability. Beyond owning my perception or feeling, I also name what is happening in my body and admit my acting out. I am accountable to my entire reaction.
Somatic, Body Wisdom Taken up a Notch
Somatic, emotional bodywork therapies are more known and accessible than ever before. It is increasingly common knowledge that the body always tells the truth. My body bypasses the protesting, embarrassed ego and says, for the time being, “I am nauseous,” “My throat is tightening,” “My body doesn’t want to have sex with you right now.” My microscopic truth identifies this valuable inner information and I share it with my partner, trusting in this moment and how it will unfold into the next, completely new, unknown moment.
Inner Trampoline is Strengthened
It is outright vulnerable to reveal myself this much. Somebody inside better be ‘home’ to catch me as I risk raw, honest exposure. It feels counterintuitive to be this microscopically truthful. I want to protect and scheme and not be this real just in case I am judged, attacked or abandoned, like I surely was at some time in my impressionable younger years. But for this moment, I don’t protect. I own my truth. I open to let you love me and I am here for me if you temporarily cannot.
Co-Dependency Saboteurs are Faced and Transformed
•I am scared of hurting your feelings,” becomes “I trust you have a Divine Source taking care of you in what gets woken up.”
•“I am frightened of the mirror your hurt is of my own pain – I don’t trust myself to handle the same truth were it told to me,” becomes “I turn my pain over to a Higher Power for its deepest healing.”
• “I don’t want to face the feelings you are feeling because of me,” becomes “I listen to your reaction and am healthily supported as I face my responsibility in hurting you.”
• “I am dependent on you financially and do not want to rock the boat,” becomes “I trust myself and a power greater than me to be my true provider, whether that is through healthy you, me or something else.”
• “No one really speaks like this emotional lingo and I don’t want to be weird,” becomes “Emotional and spiritual intelligence feel great and I now attract a like-minded community that is on the same frequency.”
• “I ‘love’ you more than I love myself” becomes “I set limits and respect myself – and you – with an open heart.”
• “You have victimised me,” becomes “I take responsibility for my creation and perception of this current ‘reality.’ I take responsibility for childhood patterns at play here and placing a spiritual connection over the power I give you.”
What Do I Really Want?
Do I want a connected, committed relationship or am I willing to accept far less than this? Or is this the best I can do for the time being? For healthy microscopic truth to flow, both partners need to be willingly on board.
Glorious Benefits
Once I brave these microscopic truth opportunities, I:
• Claim and act from my true self.
• Embrace my partner’s true self and welcome his/her life’s coherence with it.
• Am in deep, bonded intimacy with my partner.
• Celebrate sexual flow because the life force energy is circulating once again in both of us. I dared to speak and he/she dared to listen without punishing me for something he/she did not like hearing. She/he risked truth and I responded back how I felt, where it was in my body and what I wanted to do – for example, to ravage him/her!
• Feel ecstatic of having braved the death barrier of fear and terror and come back to what is only real.
• Reinforce my spiritual self that steps into trust as I cultivate a relationship with a trusted Divine Source.
A tantric relationship is the spiritual practice of embracing it all. The ego shuns such an idea in its desperation to protect itself. Our mutual commitment to microscopic truth is a sure, invigorating means to take the relationship to its greatest potential. Love is braved and the deepest, sweetest connection and peace result. And if only to myself, in the timeless meantime, all is well.
For more information about tantric-inspired workshops, go to www.cynthagonzalez.com
